Bert James


I Am Why Birds Suddenly Appear




Culinary Tour Guide

Originally from Alabama, I have been featured in the New York Times, Traveller Magazine, People Magazine, ABC 7, The Daily News, CNN and more. Not to toot my own horn but, toot toot! My mother thinks I am handsome. I have fabulous taste for the distasteful. Bette Midler is my sports team. Paul Lynde is my idol. Carol Burnett is my spirit animal. I’m Always full of fun facts and French Fries.


Bert’s Reels

Bert James




House Sketch Team Extra Credit The Armory Comedy

House Sketch Team The Big One The Armory Comedy

House Sketch Team That Just Happened The Peoples Improv Theater

Deathface Brings Good News Deathface The Magnet Theater

A Loesch Family Thanksgiving Ewan Loesch The Magnet Theater

Charolette’s Web Wilbur 7 Stages Tour

The Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch of the West Playhouse In the Park

The Trial of Martha Carrier John The Company

Patchwork Calico UAB Theater

The Shadowbox Brian ASFA Theater


23 and Me Boyfriend Katrina Naficy

Samsung Parody Bar Patron Mary Corigliano

The Olivia Show Food Expert Brielle Mallano Productions

Pet Chef (8 episodes) Host and Chef Devour T.V.

As the World Turns Your Stomach Host and Chef Devour T.V.

Wachovia Bank U/5 Counterfeit Productions

The Great New Wonderful U/5 Classic Entertainment

Improv and Sketch:

Sketch 301 Georgie Aldaco Upright Citizens Brigade

Character 101 Eric Feurer Upright Citizens Brigade

Charcacter Sketch Writing Kevin Mcdonald The Magnet Theater

Scene Building for Improv 301 Matt Higgins The PIT Theater

Sketch 201 Marina Tempelsman Upright Citizens Brigade

Improv 401 Zack Willis Upright Citizens Brigade

Sketch 101 Stephanie Bencin Upright Citizens Brigade

Write 3 Characters (workshop) Chrissy Shakelford Upright Citizens Brigade

Emotional Commitment (workshop) Alex Dickson Upright Citizens Brigade

The Movie Improv (workshop) John Timothy Upright Citizens Brigade

Improv 301 Ben Rameaka Upright Citizens Brigade

Improv 201 Patrick Clair Upright Citizens Brigade

Improv 101 Lou Gonazales Upright Citizens Brigade


On Camera Commercial and Improv Stacy Gallo One On One

Commercial Acting On Camera David Cady Endeavor Studios

Advanced Commercial Acting Barry Shapiro Actors Connection

Acting on Camera Stephanie Holbrook Actors Connection

Acting for T.V. and Film Merri Sugarman Actors Connection

Comedy Writing Eric Hansen The Comedy Cellar

Teleprompter and Script Breakdown Barbara Barna Abel Abel Intermedia

Hosting on Camera levels I,II,III Barbara Barna Abel Abel Intermedia

Acting and Shakespeare Elizabeth Tull Alabama School of Fine Arts

Scene Study, Acting and Movement Danny Molise Playhouse In the Park

Ballet, Tap and Jazz Suzanne Hall Playhouse In the Park

Special Skills:

DCA Licensed Tour Guide for over 20 years specializing in food and culinary tours. I give fabulous restaurant recommendations!

I am always full of fun facts and French fries.

NYC history buff. Story-teller. Drivers License.

Sketch comedy Writer and Performer.

Stand-up Comic. Drag Performer. Clown Skills, balloon sculpting and face-painting. Stage makeup. Avid gardener. Hair and skin care afficionado.

Proficient in several accents including, Southern, British and New York.

Two-time recipient of The Diversity Scholarship from Upright Citizens Brigade.

Featured in The New York Times, Traveller Magazine, People Magazine, The Daily News, ABC 7, CNN and more!

“No trip to New York City is complete without meeting Alabama born, Brooklyn based comedian, Bert James. The Culinary Pied Piper of Greenwich Village”. - Traveller Magaizine

“One of the best guides in New York City”. -The New York Times



Instagram- @bertjamesyes


I am like a honey ham: Salty, sweet and scrumptious. Not everyone likes honey ham and some are morally opposed.



Brie with Basil, Garlic and Salted Maple Pecans

  • Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in small sauté pan on medium high heat. 

  • Add handful of fresh basil (or use Basil oil from O&Co)

  • 1 tablespoon of maple syrup

  • 3 cloves chopped garlic

  • 1/4 cup of chopped salted pecans

  • Sauté for 2-3 minutes

  • Spoon on top of brie

    Attach "Do Not Disturb" sign to your door and sit back and enjoy.


Bert's 1/4 cuppa Pesto  

  • 1/4 cup basil

  • 1/4 cup green peas

  • 1/4 cup baby spinach

  • 1/4 cup parmesan cheese

  • 1/4 cup toasted pistachio nuts

  • 1/4 olive oil

  • pinch of salt and pinch of lemon juice and zest

    Blend all together in food processor or hand chop if you're feeling butch.


Momo's Buttermilk Salad

  • 1 pineapple chopped

  • 1 pkg peach jello

  • 12 oz whip cream

  • 2 cups of buttermilk

  • Bring pineapple to a boil and add jello and stir.

  • Add whip cream and buttermilk and mix well.

    Chill overnight. Netflix optional

    Squash Casserole

  • 4 sliced potatoes

  • sliced squash

  • onion sliced

  • layer in buttered casserole dish starting with onions on bottom and finishing with potatoes on top. Add salt and pepper and dried parsley.

  • Bake at 350 covered for 30 minutes.

    Easy yummy and healthy. Just like Neil Patrick Harris.


Bert's Dirty Chocolate Martini

  • 2 oz vodka

  • 2 oz white creme de cacao 

  • Pour over ice and then strain into martini glass while smizing.

  • Garnish with brown or green almond M&M's for the "olives". 



Bert's Tangy creamy peaches

  • Cut Peaches and grill cut side down.

  • Drizzle with balsamic vinegar and

  • Top with fresh mozzarella.

    This will make someone want to shake your tree.



Balsamic Ice Cream

  • 1 scoop Vanilla Ice Cream

  • drizzle balsamic vinegar

  • dash sea salt

    Sweet, Salty and Bitter just like me


Strawberry Fennel Salad

  • 1 Pint of Strawberries

  • 1 Bulb of Fennel

  • Dice both into bite size pieces and put into bowl

  • Add 1 tablespoon of Balsamic vinegar

  • Cover and sit in fridge overnight

  • Next day top with crumbled feta cheese

  • Add a few pieces of prosciutto

    A salad for the manliest of men and I know something about being a manly man. I wear brooches.